Why children need clear boundaries and how Martial Arts can help

Date: 15th February 2019
Author: Mrs N Bryden

In my opinion for a parent bringing up children is one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs anyone can do. How many times do you repeat the same thing? Put your shoes away, make your bed, put your clothes in the washing basket not on the floor, clean your teeth, wash your hands, put your toys away, turn your Xbox off. The list is endless.


The easiest thing would be to stop asking or reminding them to do things. But, we all know that would eventually lead to more challenges and a total lack of respect from the child.

As a parent I’ve no doubt you would have experienced the difficulties associated with a child who doesn’t want to do what they have been asked to do. Have you said things like ‘If you don’t stop doing that (whatever ‘that’ may be) you will not go to your friends birthday party”, or “I’ll take your tablet, PS4 or Xbox away from you”. The question is – Did you follow up the ‘threat’? Allowing a child to ignore your request will only lead to him (or her) thinking that they can behave the same way the next time and therefore your words become meaningless.

Children misbehaving push parents buttons FACT and it can be hard at times to remember YOU are the responsible adult. Children need clear boundaries. They need to understand that all actions have a reaction, good or bad!

Give your child the count of three.

Ask him to do what you want him to do, tell him what the consequence of them not doing will be. Then simply count, one (pause), two (pause), three… respond!

If you get to three, make sure you follow through with the consequence of him ignoring you.

Many parents say to me they are always surprised at how I control the children during a Ninja class. One minute the children are laughing and being fairly excitable carrying out the exercise they have been asked to do and the next second the command is given and the children immediately stop and wait for the next instruction. Parents ask how do I do it. I explain that I’m firm but fair. I show a level of respect to all the children and in return I expect them to show the same level of respect to my team and me. Clear and consistent boundaries are key.

I don’t use a ‘naughty’ spot or a ‘time out’ chair. I have never had to punish a student due to poor behaviour. Praise good behaviour, show a level of discipline that’s appropriate for the occasion. Be their champion and the example for them to follow!

If you would like to know more about our children classes please call Mrs Bryden on 01264 333007 today.


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